Where to even start….I’m kinda bummed right now so I’m just going to do some venting.   Pardon me. 

If you’re a fan of my Facebook page, then you know majority of my photography equipment was stolen out of my car sometime early Friday morning. 

Ugh!  

I swear I cried the whole morning.  I seriously feel like someone just took absolutely everything away from me.  I know that’s not the case, but that’s what it felt like when I realized what happened.  Everything that I’ve been working for the past however many years….all just taken by some absolute jerk that thinks he/she deserved my stuff more than I did.   I was just sitting out in Amanda’s driveway yesterday morning, with like 80  MPH record breaking winds, digging through my car like a mad woman, kinda hyperventilating,  trying to figure out why all the stuff from my console and glove box were all piled in my passenger seat, trying to figure why it looked like someone had gone through all my bags, trying to figure out if I really left the back of my car as messy as it looked, etc.  I couldn’t find the lens I ran out there to get and I couldn’t find my lens bag.  I ran inside and searched everywhere for it….then I asked Amanda if she had remembered to lock my car the night before (she was driving me around to a shoot) and she didn’t think she had…..then I ran upstairs to Andrea and asked her if she had gone out to the car that morning and dug through the glove box trying to find something for Lulu or whatever…..she said no.  

Oh dear lord I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack.  I live in freaking St. Louis, supposedly the most dangerous city in the nation, I sometimes accidentally leave my keys in my door after I unlock it.  I’ve even accidentally left my apartment unlocked when I left for a week.   The most security we have at my building is a main door to get through before you get to the apartment units.    But no, no, no….I leave my car unlocked ONCE and my lens bag in my car ONE night in a nice, quite, secure suburb of Dallas and everything get’s stolen.  WTH???  Amanda immediately got on the phone and started calling Todd to see if he had seen anything when he left for work that morning.  Turns out he walked out to get in his car at like 5:30 that morning and my passenger side door and my hatchback were open.  So he closed them and I think he planned on calling us later in the morning, but we figured it out before he was able to call us.  Poor Amanda is calling the police, security, her insurance company, her builder, etc.  Anyone and everyone she thought could help.  She felt SO BAD because she forgot to lock my car, but ummmmm I think I’ve forgotten to lock my car about 1000 times…..so there is NO REASON for her to feel bad.  PLUS, I’m the one who left my lens bag in my car.  I had brought it in every night but that one.  When we got back to the house that evening, it was just crazy and windy as all get out and I had like 50 things in my hands.  I just forgot to go back out and get my lens bag.   No one’s fault but my own.  Even if she had locked the car- they still would have found a way to get in there.  They knew what they were after.  They seriously took every single piece of photography equipment that was in that car.  They didn’t take the HUGE Pile of brand new Ikea purchases, they didn’t take the expensive stroller in the back, they didn’t take the car seats, etc.  We think they had been watching us because they knew exactly what to take and there were no other break-in’s reported.    As the morning went on, the list of stuff they took just grew and grew as I realized things were missing.  I have a big black bag that I use for all my cords, batteries, FLASHES, flash diffusers, etc .  All the random little things that I need go into this bag and as the morning went on I realized that was gone to.  Tack on another  thousand…..awesome.   We realized that had taken Andrea’s new tennis shoes & sunglasses that were in the front seat.  As I was putting everything pack in it’s place, I noticed that they had gone through my business cards and tossed those everywhere….did they not look at those and think, “I can’t believe I’m stealing everything this girl needs to do her job…”   Then I also realized that I had two car seats, a stroller, toys, snacks, etc scattered all over my car.  They didn’t know that the kids I was toting around weren’t mine.  Did they not stop and think, “wow- now I taking all this away from a mom with two kids??”  THEN I even noticed that  there was a Thank You card from my sister Sara sitting out.  It was one she gave me when Brady was born and it made me cry because of all the sweet things she said- so I kept it my console.   Did they not read that I was an aunt to a mass amount of nieces  & nephews??  Did they not read the things she said about me and think, “wow- I can’t believe I’m stealing form this girl??”  I know they didn’t read or notice any of these things, but it just makes me so mad that they invaded my space, took my things and did all this with not a care in the world as to who they were affecting. 

Oh I was so (excuse me for saying this) PISSED!!!  Seriously- what makes you think , “hey I’m just going to go steal some stuff that isn’t mine”  and then how can that person just go on with life, not caring one little bit and not realizing what a piece of complete and utter trash they are??   Then I actually started to feel sorry for this person because their life must really suck.   To be that crumby of a person, to sink  that low,  to be of no worth to society and to actually just be a burden on people in general???  That would really suck.   I feel sorry for whoever leads a life like that because whatever they’ve got coming their way can NOT be good.  I just wish I could be there to see it :-) 

It was the weirdest thing ever.  That night before we had some pretty strong storms roll through and there was quite a bit of hail.  I was still awake working and decided to go out to the playroom and open the blinds to see what it looked like.  Eventually Amanda & Andrea were out of their room’s looking around as well.  We decided to  go outside to make sure my car and Todd’s car didn’t get too much hail damage because they were parked in the driveway.  We opened the garage door and right away I  noticed my car was all fogged up.  I still have no idea if this had anything to do with whoever broke into my car, but Andrea now seems to think they were hiding in my car when we were all sitting there looking at it for hail damage.  I don’t think that would be the case because I actually went up and touched one of the windows just to make sure my windows were rolled up.  Not that I was looking inside to see if anyone was in there, but I think I would have noticed.  Still not sure on that one, but how creepy would that be if they were in there hiding??  I mean my car was seriously fogged up…and I’m not sure why.   Todd’s wasn’t’ fogged up.  We all decided to go back to bed and the storm passed but I could NOT go to bed to save my life.  SIX TIMES I got up out of bed, went to the playroom, opened the blinds and looked outside.  I just felt weird.  Now I know why.  What I don’t know is why God (since he decided to keep me up all night feeling unsure about something) didn’t just have me walk downstairs, get my keys and push the little lock button.  Seriously??  Keep me up all night just to get robbed??  Not nice :-) 

Sooooooooo I still just get a little sick to my stomach when I think about all that hard work being taken away.  Not only the hard work but also the extremely heartfelt gifts my family gave me to help me along in my journey to be a photographer.  The gifts that were above and beyond.  The gifts their hard-earned money paid for.  MAKES ME SO MAD!!!  Taken away and no way for me to find out who did it and who will now end up with my stuff.  I’m back to having one lens and camera body.  I had JUST reached a point where I was so happy and excited for the range of lenses.  Not even 2 weeks ago I bought a new lens that I was wanting for wedding shoots and that was going to be it for a few years.  I was stocked up on my lenses.  I didn’t even get to use my new lens before it was stolen….and it was my most expensive one….  makes me want to vomit. 

We’ve checked it all (insurances and warranties), did the police report, etc and I’m just pretty much screwed unless my stuff shows up in the right hands.

Such a horrible and defeated feeling.

I think it will always bother me, it will always make me sick and mad when I think about it….but the quicker I work to start building it back up, the quicker I’ll be back to where I was.  Amanda & Todd have already started me off by buying me a lens.  I fought her on it so much and it was SOOOOOO unnecessarily and they DID NOT need to buy me any lenses whatsoever, but she refused to not do it.   She still seems to think none of this would have happened had she locked my door, but I’m pretty sure they still would have taken it.  The only way it would have been avoided is if I had taken it into the house.   My fault, but THANK YOU Amanda & Todd for taking my lens count up to two….just that much closer to five :-) 

I’m very thankful that they didn’t actually come in the house.  I’m very thankful they didn’t actually take my car or do any more damage to it.  I’m very thankful they didn’t take absolutely everything out of it.  I’m very thankful for a lot things that did not happen, but I’m still just sick about it all.  

ON A HAPPIER NOTE- my little trip was so much fun!  I loved being able to see some of my babies :-)  To just hang out with them, snuggle with them, watch their favorite tv shows with them, take pictures of them, etc.   Even when all my theft stuff happened, they still made me smile :-)  I was sitting on the couch at Amanda’s BAWLING my eyes out and Carson comes up to me and pats me on the back and says, “it’s okay aunt yissy.  I make you a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and we be okay.  I go make you sandwich.  I be right back” and then he ran up stairs to his fake kitchen and made me a peanut butter and jelly (actually it was bacon but apparently he thinks it looks like jelly) sandwich.  Then he came downstairs with the biggest smile on his face and handed it to me with a hug and kiss.  Then he ran over to the kitchen, got me a mini peanut butter cup and said, “and here’s a treat to make you feel better.”   CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!   Then I get a call from Ellie telling me that was “so sad” that some mean person took all my stuff and she couldn’t believe that they took my iPod charger from me, ha!  She just kept talking in her sweet little sympathtic voice…it was adorable and it made me cry again :-)   Then I get to Bentonville that night and Bella greets me at the door with a “Aunt yissy who took all your stuff, um um um, they take your stuff, um yissy  why did they take all your stuff, um yissy we make you homemade popcorn to make you feel better, um yissy you want to watch Mickey Mouse with me, um yissy look at my jama’s,” and on and on.  This is the way Bella talks and I love it :-)    But her first concern to ask me about was who took all my stuff. 

I have the cutest nieces & nephew’s in the world :-)

So yes- very fun trip that just had a big bad hic-up on Friday. I also did a couple shoots while I was in Dallas, so I will have some sneak peeks to post tomorrow.  They were awesome, I’m so excited to show them off!

For now- I’m going to bed.  I am EXHAUSTED and I have four shoots tomorrow.  Hopefully nothing get’s stole tonight ;-)